OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
only you would photoshop your dick
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
