I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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