Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
