Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
