so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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