He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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