You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
