Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
