Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
