i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
