Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
wakey wakey hands off snakey
from now on my penis is your penis
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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