i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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