what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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