if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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