what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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