when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
