fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
