Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
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I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
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We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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