it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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