careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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