I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
