It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
