hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
