official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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