Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
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Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
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Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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