Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
