A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
don't judge my taste in strippers
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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