She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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