What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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