By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
