Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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