Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
