It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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