We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
