I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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