my mouth tastes like poor choices
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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