Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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