Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize