me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
