He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
