I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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