How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize