omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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