Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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