you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
