she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
