now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
