I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
