Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
