he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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