i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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