sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
