Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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