"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
