What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
