too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
