Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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