Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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