I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
