i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
how drunk are you?
Several
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
