I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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