We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
