Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
