i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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